/ Friday, August 07, 2009
Went back to school for a week le. Things are not doing good for me. alot of projects and tests coming up. like ytd, i got accounting test, i havent even learn that topic yet then teacher just give me that test! i was so pissed off. i told teacher abt it that i havent learn that yet cuz i was in hospital then teacher say if she teach me, she wont give me marks for that. what is this man? then i told her forget it. just give me the answer anyway i sure get a big zero. so i just got the answer. fail then fail lor. cuz i know this term i sure cannot make it. been missing out so many things how to catch up? and worse, there's no one to help me at all. my classmates are not close to me, only tracy, but i dont think she can help me all the topics that i've missed out cuz there's really alot. i really want to cry out. but there's nobody to lend me a shoulder for me to lean on. i quarrelled with my mum and dad ytd again. my mum scolded me for wasting money on buying cookies everytime. i was so so so upset abt it. i took up alot of courage to buy cookies and eat but in the end i got scoldings and even got accused by my dad. i cried in the toilet when i was bathing. everything i do seems wrong. they want me to eat, i ate but i got scoldings instead. what am i suppose to do?! dont eat? but this would end up in hospital again. i hate it. sometimes i really hope to stay in hospital cuz at least i'm alone there and dont have to face any problems at home. if i got money, i would just go to another country and wont come back again. life is really meaningless for me. i am tried. really tired. i dont know what to do anymore. i just felt like running across the road and let the car bang me!! i have enough of it! i want to avoid my family whenever possible but end up got called by dad and got scoldings again. he doesnt know what i'm facing at home everyday! he only know how to accuse me! i seems to have lost both my parents. now calling a 'mummy' or 'papa' is difficult. i havent call them that for a few days le.
jocelyn has lost her family. she dont have a family. jocelyn dont have anybody that she can trust, jocelyn dont have anything valuable for her to live on anymore.
