/ Saturday, July 04, 2009
okok, seriously, i'm being triggered these few days! i cannot take it! why must i have this illness?! its robs me of my everything! i hate it! it triggers me when others are skinnier than me, it triggers me when my friends play cheat on food, it triggers me when someone doesnt finish their food but i have to, it triggers me others no need to drink supplements and i have to, it triggers me when other say that i look like my healthy weight which i HAVE NOT reached yet. oh my goodness! why is this happeining? cant this illness just leave me alone?! seriously i had enough! i so feel like giving up now! i dont want to continue treatment! i hate it when i
am in hospital cuz that's where everything triggers me! though i might have good friends in hospital, but sometimes they do things that really made me feel like relasping. i was doing fine for the past few weeks until now..... i sliped all the way back again. its really hard to stand up when you keep falling and falling until you dont feel like standing up cuz its so tiring. guess the only way for me is to just die......................
