/ Sunday, February 22, 2009
Back!~ ^^
These few days went out with my close friends which i havent seen them for like one l year? went out with Hilda ai ai, audrey precious and alex. really happy going out with them. they made me feel like i'm going back to my old self ( the happy me ). for the year 2008 i totally lost myself. i dont know who am i and i never even contact my friends. i isolated myself and going kept in and out of hospital. i'm sick of that life. now 2009, i contacted my friends back, though its abit hard for me cuz very long never see them le. but i'm glad that i contacted them back. i really miss them. although its sad that i lost some of my friends like my previous class OC, i used to be so close to them but now few weeks ago, when we met, we got nth to talk abt. they talk amoung themselves and i really felt left out. i was really sad. i really hope we can be as close as last time. i really love them alot. Yong ming, Terence, Matthew, Joyce, and Kelly. but never mind, i know we can never go back to the past. they got their own life.
Anyway, was feeling very down these few days, although i went out with friends, but something was just not there. problem lies with me, i dont know how to handle. i even forgot how i used to be. now alot of ppl say this is not the old jocelyn. i hated myself. i just felt myself very ugly! i dont even dare to go out to a place where there is alot of crowd. why other people can be so pretty and i'm like that?!
Also, i am so worried for my family. my sisters changed alot. sometimes i dont even know who they are. my parents is so stressed up. i dont know how to help them. i felt so useless. now i never attend church, cuz i felt nth there. i used to love God so much, but now when i pray, i cannot even concentrate and i cannot hear Him. Haix..
Why is my life like that? =(
