/ Saturday, November 03, 2007
yea.. I'm back again.. =)
School days are quite fun for me, but i dont know whether i did the right choice or the wrong choice.. One side, i feel the love from my classmates, another side, i feel that i let another person down... maybe i just want to try mixing with the outside friends. cuz i'm very sian with all the problems going on.. dont know how to say leh.. but somehow i feel that when i mix with my classmates, i dont feel stressed at all. i can just say anything that bothers me and they will understand and make me smile again.. not like other places.. whenever i'm sad, nobody knows, nobody cares. all they do was keep on telling me to go on and dont give up. but its really difficult.. Now when people come and tell me problems, i dont even know what to say cuz i myself cant even do it. i got no rights to tell people to stay strong and keep going on. like what hilda say, if i want people stand strong, you must first get strong first. ok. i admit, these few days, i keep on telling them i will pray and stay strong, but in my heart, i really cant do it. now all the problems i'm facing, only my classmates knows. not because i told them, is they can see from my expression. though i didnt tell them what happen, but still they'll always give me that warmth feeling. Giving me their hugs and everything. i really feel blessed to have them as my classmates. so far, from primary school until now, i finally found a class that can really make me happy..
class OC. although i only close to the chinese pupils, but i'm really happy that at least there's somebody in the class that can really make me happy..
Another side, i feel that i've let someone down.. i know you are a very good friend, but i really cant control.. i know you feel left out. sometimes i really want you to join in but i know you dont like so i know i cant force you.. likewise how i feel in church.. you got good friends in church, but i only got hilda. i feel the same way as you. i want to join in somtimes, but i feel that i'm not welcomed. so i choose to stick to hilda or you.. all i want to say is, no matter where i am, no matter what group i go, you're a friend that i will never forget. we went through up and downs together and i know you'll be happier with church friends.. but in church we will still be as close ya? Keep on putting the smile on your face. I LOVE YOU.
